The Light that Shines in Darkness

A year ago today we were in the midst of a beautiful September day, just like today. White, cottonball clouds gliding lazily across storybook blue skies, salty sea air filling my lungs. When my phone rang and I saw my young friend Cory's name, I was happy--probably baby news or something not quite as exciting, but great. When through sobs he said, "Brenda, Aaron's gone!", I was so stunned, I couldn't comprehend it, and he had to repeat the devastating words.

I began to grasp the overwhelming fact. Aaron Wilson, young like my sons, my dear friend, laughing DJ at our latest family wedding, loved and invested in so many, had truly left us. Gone in a moment of time. I knew it was true, and I knew his Father had come to get him. While Cory spoke the words to my ears, before he was done speaking, the Holy Spirit was connecting with MY spirit, and I saw Aaron at the wheel of his car, head thrown back, looking to heaven, calling out to Jesus. Knowing Aaron was alive in another dimension with his Savior was the deepest and only true comfort. But there was his family. What could and would Jesus do for his family, who loved him beyond expression--the hole in their world so cavernous and gaping they would not be able to comprehend life with the emptiness?

This post by Aaron's beautiful sister Stacy tells so profoundly what Jesus did and is doing for them. I had to share. You need the Light, too. If I or any of the Wilson family can help you, please contact me.

From Stacy:
After losing Aaron, it seemed like everything in my life turned dark. It is similar to coming home to your house at night. You may shuffle around with your hands out trying to find the light switch while protecting yourself from running into anything. Once you turn the light on, everything is visible again. Those who take on the darkness, (without turning on the switch) usually end up running into a wall and stubbing their toe.

When things turn dark, it blinds you from every other aspect in your life. You don’t know what is ahead or behind you. It can be scary and depressing. The things that gave you joy or happiness before seems to vanish. In actuality… they are still there, they are just no longer seen due to the darkness that overtakes you. How can you experience joy if your light is out? I have tried it…It is impossible.

Throughout the Bible, it talks about Jesus being the light. “The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.” (John 1:5) I can personally say, that God has brought LIGHT into this time of darkness. BUT I had to truly switch that light on DAILY in my life. Various life situations can turn that switch off and it is up to you to make the choice of how long you want to stay there. It is also interesting to know that darkness doesn’t exist, it merely is the absence of light. Meaning when we do feel dark, we just need light. That light is Jesus. It is the most readily available form of light. He is like the legit version of a CLAP ON light!!! It saddens me to know that God is so readily available for you, yet most people choose to ignore him. They stay in darkness for their entire life. IT DOES NOT HAVE TO BE THAT WAY and that is NOT God’s purpose for your life.
I will say, the majority of this past year things have been dark. The days that I couldn’t pray, God heard my heart. At times, when I was too weak to make that CHOICE to turn the light on, he did it for me. 

Situations like losing Aaron can bring emptiness so great that you MUST find ways to give thanks to God. That is a huge part of the grieving process. If you DO NOT give thanks multiple times in one day, you will find yourself in a dark hole FAST (or a dark house with no lights on) This can be the most challenging aspect of the grieving process. Your mind and heart is focused on the negative. You must realize that the situation CANNOT be changed, it can only be redirected. I cannot bring Aaron back. I cannot change that situation. I can only change my attitude about it. 

Aaron had such a thankful heart. It wasn’t just “I am thankful for family. My job. My friends.” IT WAS MORE THAN THAT. I remember riding in his car one day and we were talking about our family. In his most energetic form, he kept saying “Seriously we have the best family. I mean come on…we are all funny, we make the best food, we have the best time together.... whoever I marry is going to be lucky that they marry into a family like ours” He went on and on and on… BUT Aaron honestly had the same thankful energy with his house, car, job, friends, and Fiancé, Alex. (He might have been this way with his good looks and 3-point basketball shot)

We need to all start giving thanks more often and have ENERGY doing it! (Ephesians 5:20) GOOD TIMES AND BAD TIMES… GIVE THANKS! Just wait, on Thanksgiving Day, we will see everyone’s comments and status’ about what they are thankful for. That is fine and dandy but do it EVERYDAY. If you feel you have nothing to be thankful for, look around you. WE LIVE IN AMERICA!!!!! I have the freedom to speak my mind without being beaten or killed. Our future son will have a greater advantage in all aspects because he is an American. Our freedom is so easily taken for granted. Do you have clothes to wear? GIVE THANKS… millions don’t. Do you have fresh drinking water? GIVE THANKS… many throughout India, Haiti, Africa DO NOT know what that is like. (By the way, Aaron’s death has influenced many to donate to ClearBlue Global Water Project and there is now FOUR wells in his name serving VILLAGES of people with FRESH DRINKING WATER!!! AMEN)

God literally brought me to a point that I had to look around and give thanks for the things I easily took for granted before (such as my freedom, clean drinking water, family, and friends) I learned that if I didn't give thanks I would not progress any further as an individual.

BECAUSE OF THAT, I just want to take the time to give thanks for the PEOPLE/FAMILY/FRIENDS God has placed in our lives. I am so grateful for AMAZING husband, Ben. He has literally been there for me every waking second. He brings such a positive perspective to every situation. He held me through every sleepless night and patiently walked me through every frustrating moment.

For my family and close friends---words cannot describe the amount of love you have poured over my life. I am talking about ALL OF YOU who come over unexpectedly. The people that DON’T ASK but DO. The prayers so strong that I FEEL THEM. The friends that literally sat in my living room listening to me in my darkest and saddest moments. The ones who have encouraged me DAILY! Yes, most don’t understand. BUT you have SEEN my pain. The ones who have done the exact same thing to my parents and my brother. You have walked this path with all of us. FOR THAT, I am extremely grateful.

Most people grieve alone. They have no support system. I would be SO lost without the people that have surrounded us with love. This was the BIG light that God turned on for me. Without people like you, I would still be sitting in a dark house feeling hopeless. SO THANK YOU!

WE ALL have the ability to be this person to someone else. Our world can be a terrible place. SO MANY PEOPLE ARE HURTING!!!!! It is the PEOPLE LIKE YOU who make it better. Who go out of their way WITHOUT asking and WITHOUT expecting something in return. It is the love that has been shown to me that MOTIVATES me to become a better friend, wife, daughter, and now mother.

Try to make it a point to give thanks. Post it notes work great. PUT THEM ON YOUR MIRROR. Every small and BIG thing that you are grateful for. Take a look at them before you leave for work every day. Remind yourself that EVERY good and perfect things come from above. (James 1:17)

If you are in a dark place, I encourage you to ask God to turn the lights on. Allow him to reveal all of the things he has given you. If you choose Christ, he will NEVER leave you no matter how DARK things may seem.
(Deuteronomy 31:6) I promise he will GIVE YOU hope. He will place people and situations that will bring you through anything that is thrown at you. You can’t change your situation… make that choice to give it to God and allow him to change your perspective.

When God Hears My Prayer

Nothing like a storm in life to make you pray. Unless, of course, it is something we want so badly that it seems everything will go wrong if we don't get it. Like custody of the kids, a job, a job that's actually a career with better pay, that special relationship...you know what I am saying. I could go on and on.

There are some answers to pray that are just sheer blessings--they hurt no one. Those are the healings from disease, the child coming home to the Father, the addict being released from bondage. But then there are those other prayers, when my much-sought for answer brings grief and disappointment to someone else. Like when it DOES rain for my vegetable garden, but ruins an outdoor reception for someone's wedding. Or bigger than that. When my friend gets custody of the children, another parent who loves them equally and is not a villain is crushed to the heart. When I get the job and they walk away feeling inadequate and insecure and wonder, "Why not me?" When that person chooses me, and another wonderful person's desires are squashed--again. Do I get so caught up in my rejoicing that I forget my joy is not the condition of everyone, based on my answer?

I've thought about that for years. There are the clear and obvious answers to prayer (at least from our human vantage point) that evil should be overthrown. Clearly that is God's will. Jesus taught us to pray, "Your Kingdom come, Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven." But it is so easy for me to assume that my desires are God's Will. When things work out as I hope and pray, it is easy to say and post to the world, "God is good!" On the days when someone else seems to have won the battle, it is just as easy to assume God is NOT good, he is not hearing me, and evil is winning.

That's the big deal with trust. Believing in a great, good, and generous God doesn't mean I will always get my way, or things will always be answered as I hope. It is knowing God is the great, good, and generous Father of us all---and he is that when my answers are what I dreamed, and when they are not. I know he is working out his will. And his will is exactly what I would chose if I had all the information he does.

That's the big deal with lack of self-centeredness, thinking like Jesus. I can rejoice with those who get what I wanted because I trust God to care for me perfectly. I can feel compassion for those who desperately wanted what I received instead.

That's the way I want to pray. I am working on it. By the way, that check I prayed for was NOT in the mail yesterday. God is good anyway.

Golf is Dying?

Golf is dying. So say the pundits. You surely wouldn't know it around here. Our church is situated on one side of the Firestone Country Club where the world famous Bridgestone Invitational is played every year. Our amazing Cornerstone volunteers serve there every year to be a positive witness, and to raise funds for community service and outreach. Our home is situated on the backside of the West course, and our boys used to go over on Pro-Am days and get autographs from most of the greats. Zachary actually had a couple minute conversation with former President George H.W. Bush there. And we at the Young compound all are very tuned in to what's happening on the golf front year round.

But back to my point. I don't actually believe golf will die out, even in the face of evidence like the Dick's Sporting Goods chain dismissing all of their in-store golf experts. The ones who are predicting the demise of golf, citing lack of interest and general malaise in the fans, say that Tiger Woods' decline from former dominance and no one rising with the same brilliance to replace him is a main reason it will die.(As I write this, Tiger has withdrawn from the tournament with a back injury.)

While I believe golf will still be around and attracting a significant fan base regardless of whether Tiger or another young lion dominates, I do believe this---every group/organization/family needs a hero to thrive. Simply put, every relationship needs a hero if its going to survive and succeed.  What's that look like in a family?

A family hero steps up and becomes the bigger person to close the gap when the family is divided. Someone has to make the first move, the first compromise, to heal the relationship.  Want to be a hero? Swallow your pride and be that person. Think about what the future holds if you do not mend this.

When the family is struggling,  it needs somebody to step up and take it to another level. Someone who is willing to make the sacrifices, go the extra miles, and say, "I am going to rise above the fray, and I'm going to lead us out of this maze."

I could make a long list of examples, but I'll simply say this:  if your marriage, your family,  is going to survive and thrive, someone needs to get up earlier than they want to, stay up later than they prefer, work harder than they planned, deny themselves things they could rightfully demand, do things no one else wants to do...need I say more? You get the idea.

But there's more. It's better than simple sacrifice. It's an opportunity to save your family, to save your world. That's what heroes do. And the rewards are more than you imagine.

I don't expect golf to die without Tiger. But your family might die
without you. It needs a hero. Why don't you step up and be one?

Gratitude in All Things

As I look at the date of my last blog post and realize it has only been just over a week since Dad's sudden decline, I shake my head. He had been so remarkable--his statements, prayers, and attitudes expressed could fill a book. In fact, my brother's book is called ONLY GOD. Some of his staff members who have been hearing about Dad's journey have laughingly told Dwight his next book should be titled ONLY JIM. :-)

There's a reason Dad is like this, facing the hardest days in his journey. He takes the words of Paul very seriously that followers of Jesus Christ should cultivate a spirit of gratitude in all things. When Dad was in deep days of grief after my mother, his wife of more than 50 years, had left him for heaven, he didn't like the grip that sadness had on him. So he made himself a "gratitude list" that he has read every single morning before he even prays, just to get his head focused in the right direction, Here it is:

THINGS I PRAISE GOD FOR: HIS MERCY TO ME

1) I praise God for His mercy in forgiving me of my sins.

2) I praise God for making me a new creation; all things have become new.

3) I praise God for the home in which I was raised--parents who loved God, a Christian home.

4) I praise God for being raised in a Christian church.

5) I praise God for being born an American.

6) I praise God for Christian friends who prayed for me.

7) I praise God for the wife he gave me to raise our children.

8) I praise God that Marie died a faithful Christian.

9) I praise God for the assurance that she is with Jesus.

10) I praise God for my brothers and sisters, who serve God.

11) I praise God for the good health he has given me over 93 years.

12) I praise  God for my family--all Christian.

13) I praise God for his continued presence all day.

14) I praise God for the ability to stay for so long alone in my own home--what a blessing!

15) I praise God for his faithful guidance.

James L. Mason

I don't know what your situation is, but maybe you need to try Dad's method for lifting your heart. Get started. "I praise God that..." Praise unlocks the prison cell of your soul.

My Wine Has Run Out...

Dad called me this morning, his voice telling me something had happened before his words got it all together. I asked what was wrong, and he answered, "My wine has run out. My cup is empty." Then he told me that he was being taken to the hospital from the nursing home where he is a resident. I prayed with him and told him I would meet him there.

I had a full day going, and needed to manage few things  before I left, so the ambulance beat me there. He was already wired up to the monitors in the emergency room when I arrived, chatting with the nurse while she made notes. She had evidently been there for a little while, because he had already found out they shared faith in Christ. He was rejoicing at what a great life she had ahead of her. When she was finished and she left with smiles and mutual "God bless you's" exchanged, I sat by the bed and enfolded Dad's hand in mine.

"Daddy, tell me about your wine being gone, your cup being empty." I am sure my tone conveyed my concern, and he immediately filled me in.

"Oh, it's true, honey. My wine has run out. My cup is empty. I am old and weak, I have no resources, no idea of how to help myself, and no ability to do anything even if I knew something to do. If I'm going to have any wine again, Jesus will have to do it."

If you aren't familiar with the life and ministry of Jesus, you may not know that he was referring to the wedding Jesus attended (recorded in John 2) where the host ran out of wine in the middle of the reception, a humiliation in those days. He and his wife were helpless to remedy the situation until Jesus stepped in. He took mere water--clear, ordinary water--and turned it into the finest wine. It was the first miracle Jesus did in his life on earth.

My heart was aching, because I knew what Dad said was true. And, frankly, I don't know if Jesus is going to do a miracle here. Dad is 93, and has had a very full life. But Dad took me to school. He spoke again, almost thinking aloud. "But having my wine run out is not a bad thing, honey. It's actually a great opportunity to truly trust Jesus. You see, as long as I have the ability to do something for myself, to rescue myself, or meet my own needs, it is hard for me to know if I really trust Jesus or not. When I am completely helpless, I find out how much I will trust him to do what he knows is best. I said to Jesus today, 'Jesus, I am empty. I have nothing left. My wine is all gone. I know you can do a miracle and give me more, but you don't have to. I would like to live a little longer, because I have things I would like to do yet. But you know more and better than me. So I will trust you and accept with thanksgiving whatever you do.' I trust him, Brenda. I really do."

His room was full of peace and joy and the Holy Spirit. My sister-in-law Cathy stayed with him after I had to return to work for an appointment. She reported that he told the "water to wine" story to his doctor, as the doctor listened intently.

Witnessing his intimacy with Jesus is...well, my cup runneth over.