THIS IS US

This Is Us is an American television  series created by Dan Fogleman that premiered on NBC on September 20, 2016. It has gained a huge fan base, including me.  The cast of characters is fascinating and multi-hued. They seem like people I either know or interact with every day, people I see in my office. The series follows siblings Kate, Kevin and Randall who share the same birthday, but not the same parents or race, as Randall was adopted after their natural sibling was stillborn. Their lives intertwine through current events, flashbacks, and not a few tears.

Actually,the tears just keep on coming. Because of some of those flashbacks, I know that Jack, the amazing father to these three, is going to die way too young. I adore this fictional man, and may have to take a bereavement day when that actually happens. :-(  This past week, William, Randall's biological father, died of cancer in his favorite city Memphis. He was on a meaningful road trip with his son, the baby he gave away only to meet again a few months before his death.  During the road trip, we saw flashbacks of William’s early life with his mother, Dorothy, his experiences in the band with his cousin Ricky, and his downward spiral into drugs with girlfriend Laurel. We witnessed the sadness and brokenness that so shaped his life. It was heart-wrenching, and all too real.

But we also saw something awesome. Randall's young life had many challenges as well, even though he was adopted into a loving home. He was undoubtably affected by his pre-birth trauma, and despite the love of his parents, they couldn't shield him from the pains and hurts of being an African-American in a white world. He had asthma, and this highly intelligent young man often went into spasms provoked by anxiety and fear. His loving adoptive father would take his face into his hands and with firm, gentle words affirm him as he looked into his eyes, and said, "Breathe, son, just breathe." The fear would vanish, and life and peace would seep back into Randall's soul.

When Randall's biological father was dying in the hospital, William was fearful and panicked. The incredible love of his adoptive father Jack, long gone at this time, enabled and empowered Randall to be to reach back into his past for just the skill and love his biological d
ad William needed at this moment. Through tears he placed his hand on the sides of his father's face, and said firmly and with anguished love, "Breathe, Dad--breathe. " William's panicked laboring ceased, he absorbed the love of his son pouring through Randall's tender hands and down his tear-stained cheeks.  He began to breathe peacefully and easily, and then he was gone.

Whew. Loving well is so important. It's the best we can ever give our children. When we patiently love in words and deed, letting them KNOW and feel to their core how valued they are, they get the only thing in life worth having besides Jesus--the ability to know and show love in the toughest moments.

I want THIS to be US.

Feeling Like Job? Maybe Not So Much...

Just finished reading the book of Job again. Fascinating dialogue between a man badly misunderstood by his self-righteous friends, and an intimate dialogue with God who knew him best. It's interesting how common culture misuses this story, though. Many people compare themselves with Job when they are suffering...but few of us could even aspire to that, myself included. NONE of Job's trials were brought on himself because of his own poor choices. NONE of his suffering was because he had sinned. In fact, according to Job 1, God himself said about Job, "There is no one on earth like him; he is blameless and upright, a man who fears God and shuns evil.”(v.8) HIS suffering was initiated because Satan believed the only reason Job was obedient and faithful was because he was enjoying God's favor and protection.

God knew Job, and he truly believed in him. He told Satan that he believed Job would stay steady no matter what, so Satan went after Job to prove God wrong. Job suffered far worse attacks than we can imagine---the loss of all of his children and their families in a single accident, the loss of all of his fortune, the loss of his health, the loss of his reputation, and the loss of the support of his wife. She told him to curse God and die. Not exactly the spousal support for which one would hope. When I look at the things I consider to be my worst trials, they are fairly puny compared to what he experienced in a single blow. And, truth be told, it is very, very easy for me to get whiny when I suffer. I have to work hard to not complain to the world. Job took his pain and complaints straight to God. He never blamed God, he never threatened to give up on his faith, In fact, he said, "Even if he kills me, I will always serve him." He said, "I know this--my Redeemer lives. And I know that even if this life ends, I will live with him forever." His strength married to complete humility is awe-inspiring.

WOW. When we say, "She has the patience of Job", we're probably very far off the mark (especially if you are talking about me!). When I say, "I feel like Job"---really? Is Satan actually attacking me because I am so pure and godly? Because my attitude of faith is so unshakeable? Am I able to take the heat and not fold? Can I go through hard times and not feel God is abusing me?

The really great news is that God is with me in my suffering, whether I brought it on myself or not. And he wants to help me get through it triumphantly, and then use it to help other people.

Paul updates the experience of suffering for us when he writes to his Corinthian friends about what he had been through:

"God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort. 4He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us. 5For the more we suffer for Christ, the more God will shower us with his comfort through Christ. 6Even when we are weighed down with troubles, it is for your comfort and salvation! For when we ourselves are comforted, we will certainly comfort you. Then you can patiently endure the same things we suffer. 7We are confident that as you share in our sufferings, you will also share in the comfort God gives us.

 

8We think you ought to know, dear brothers and sisters, about the trouble we went through in the province of Asia. We were crushed and overwhelmed beyond our ability to endure, and we thought we would never live through it. 9In fact, we expected to die. But as a result, we stopped relying on ourselves and learned to rely only on God, who raises the dead. 10And he did rescue us from mortal danger, and he will rescue us again. We have placed our confidence in him, and he will continue to rescue us. 11And you are helping us by praying for us. Then many people will give thanks because God has graciously answered so many prayers for our safety." II Corinthians 2

If you are suffering today, know that God wants to be with you. Don't blame him. Learn the lessons of your pain and then share them and comfort others.

And then look forward to God's new work when it's all over. Job 42 records Job saying he only THOUGHT he knew God before. He said, "My ears had heard of you, but now my eyes have actually seen you." Suffering can be worth it if it takes us there.

God did more than that, too! He restored Job's fortunes, gave him twice as much as he had before, and he had 7 more sons and 3 daughters--"no where in the land were there found women as beautiful as Job's daughters (v15)....The Lord blessed the latter part of Job’s life more than the former part." (v.12)

Of course, he still had the same wife. Sigh. Maybe she changed, too.

The Meaning of the Medallion

This materially cheap, otherwise priceless, necklace was given to me by the Sisters of Mercy in Kolkata, India, after my niece Sara Potter and I, had spent a day serving with Mother Teresa's humble crew. They serve the last, the lowest, and the least--the most forgotten of God's creation. I have found myself wearing it most days since early November. We weren't permitted to take pictures, or voice opinions. Everyone who came there to serve had to attend the excruciatingly early prayer service (didn't have to pray, but did have to respectfully attend), for they wanted no serving that did not begin in prayer. After that, everyone had to do behind the scenes, non-feel good, no glory jobs for an undetermined period. Sara and I were assigned to clean a very large space/meeting room with cobbled floors and thousands of crevices in this old building that served them--a building that would have been condemned in the US. I had to mop floors with a handmade mop--rag on a stick. It was difficult and long. When I was finished, the tiny little woman in the white and blue habit didn't even inspect it. She just motioned for me to do it again.
Finally we were permitted to go do the glamor jobs, the ones you tell the world about, the ones that make you feel amazing and compassionate. We spent the day caring for disabled, abused, poor street children who would never be adopted. We fed them as they spit and drooled on us. We changed cloth diapers made from rags on 12 and 14 year old children, praying not to gag. Then we did the first step in the washing process of said diapers, because there is no money for disposables or even real cloth diapers. It was beautiful and awful, wonderful and revolting.
Then they gathered us together after our service, (applauded us---can you imagine???) and gave us our tiny medallions. And then we left, as we do-gooders most often do, and went back to our normal lives. The heroes, the difference makers, were laying down their lives 24/7. They stayed in the pain and the chaos to do the hard work of making it at least a little better for specific individuals with real faces and real pain.
My takeaway: as the Bible says, faith/compassion/opinion without works and sacrifice is dead. I wear my necklace to remind ME that the world as a whole needs my opinions less, and my sacrificial action more. I may not impact the wide world, but I can change the WHOLE world for individuals who are suffering within my sight if I will only go through the world with my lips more often closed and my eyes more often opened. Ecclesiastes 3:7 says there's a time to speak and a time to be silent. May God give me the wisdom to discern. Jesus said the time to serve is always NOW, and that true service means being willing to be last, and laying down my life. Tough stuff. I am praying to be up to it.

INAUGURAL THOUGHTS

I remember the first time I was aware that not everyone respected our US Presidents. I was a very young elementary student, and John F. Kennedy had been elected president. Our class at school was sharply divided or whether or not he was an answer to prayer or a demon straight from hell. We were too young to even have an opinion of our own. Everyone was spouting information, mostly misinformation, based on what they had heard. When I reported a bit of what I had heard, my Dad sharply reprimanded me for repeating ugly things. He reminded me that this man was now our president, and if I had Jesus in my heart, my job was to honor, respect, and pray for him.

I wish everyone would have had a dad like mine. Now I have lived through many presidential elections and subsequent inaugurals. The process is always the same. Some people trashing the outgoing president, claiming now there is hope for the first time in years, and others despairing that we will even make it through the next years with "the Devil himself" running the country. It was true last election, and now it is true again.

Admittedly the vitriol is worse than it has ever been before. I don't know President Obama, nor President-elect Trump. For at least 99.9% of us, that is also true. We are basing our decisions on what we have read and heard from others, most who don't actually know them any better than we do, and those who do cannot help but inject their own personal biases. Why is it worse? My personal opinion is that as the human race winds its way onward, evil will "wax worse and worse."  I Timothy 3:13 says evil and seducers will get worse and worse, and many will be deceived. Be careful before you declare who is being deceived and seduced. It might be you.

But in any case, that's not our job. Simple maturity and human courtesy requires far different behavior and speech than a high percentage of people, including Christians, exhibit when political issues are involved. We excuse ourselves when high profile people act in a way that is reprehensible or disrespectful and think it proves validity. As my mother used to say, "If Elvis jumped off a cliff, would that make it smart for you do so?"

What is my position now? The same as it was for Mr. Obama. For Mr. Bush. For Mr. Clinton. All the way back. The same one as it would be if Mrs. Clinton was being sworn in tomorrow. I try to take my cues from God:

• Every person is to be in subjection to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except from God, and those which exist are established by God.  Romans 13:1

• Therefore it is necessary to be in subjection, not only because of wrath, but also for conscience' sake. For because of this you also pay taxes, for rulers are servants of God, devoting themselves to this very thing. Render to all what is due them: tax to whom tax is due; custom to whom custom; fear to whom fear; honor to whom honor.  Romans 13:5-7

• Remind them to be subject to rulers, to authorities, to be obedient, to be ready for every good deed. Titus 3:1

• Submit yourselves for the Lord's sake to every human institution, whether to a king as the one in authority, or to governors as sent by him for the punishment of evildoers and the praise of those who do right. I Peter 2:13-14

•  Honor all people, love the brotherhood, fear God, honor the king.I Peter 2:17

• First of all, then, I urge that entreaties and prayers, petitions and thanksgivings, be made on behalf of all men, for kings and all who are in authority, so that we may lead a tranquil and quiet life in all godliness and dignity.I Timothy 2:1-2

Interesting. We think we have it bad? The leaders they were told to honor and respect in those days were persecutors and tyrants. People were DYING. Far different than today.

My responsibilities are to show respect and honor, obey the law (unless it is immoral and then work vigorously and with integrity for change), and above all to pray specifically for the President and all in authority. It is only reasonable that if I think he is ill-equipped, the wrong person for the job, my commitment  to pray should be even deeper and more sincere. If I have two children and one is in the right place, one is in the wrong place, wisdom and love direct my most passionate prayers towards the one who needs the most help. Why not across the board?

I have been through decades of elections now, and one thing I have learned through personal experience. No president will ever affect my life, my destiny, and my family the way my own choices will. I need to concentrate my angst and effort there.

Thank you, President Obama, for your service and efforts on behalf of our nation. May God be with you and your family in these next years. I am praying for you, President-elect Trump. May you be quick to hear wisdom and courageous to obey. You both are in my prayers.

I Dreamed of Jeannie, With the Light Brown Hair...

Yesterday while on a mini working vacation, Charlie and I slipped away from Hilton head Island and drove 50 minutes to Savannah. We wanted to see the old historic city, and  go to Paula Deen's restaurant. Friends told us it would be a shame to be so close and not get a taste. So we went, and both the town and restaurant lived up to its press. Paula has a little shop connected to the restaurant where she sells linens and cookware. I went in to look around and my eyes immediately spied very unique spatulas with wooden handles and colorful chickens. My heart jumped – my sister Jeannie would've scooped those up if she had been there. For years she had decorated her kitchen with chickens and had no intention of ever changing it. So I bought spatulas for her two daughters and for our two sisters in love. I thought they would appreciate them as I did.

When we came back to our rental home, Charlie and I had a great full evening. We worked, laughed, talked, played Scrabble (he beat me AGAIN), and around 11 I went to bed. Even though I was tired, sleep eluded me. I sat in bed and read and wrote for a couple hours and then fell asleep for a while, woke up again and read some more, fell sleep again around 4:30. And then I dreamed of Jeannie. I hadn't been thinking of her, I wasn't feeling sad or lonely, but I had such a vivid dream, I will never forget it. Jeannie came.

She was so happy and beautiful. She was in the kitchen of the house where we are staying, washing a few dishes. She held one of the chicken spatulas in her hand. She told me how she loved it, and that her greatest memorial would be the people she loved doing the ordinary things of life, loving them too, and remembering her as they did them.

I don't believe I ever said anything. I was overcome with awe and joy, but there was no awkwardness or discomfort in my silence. I wish I could get it down in perfect detail. When I awakened, I started writing immediately to try to capture everything as accurately as I could.

She told me to tell her girls to always love Christmas... that she had known that Christmas 2015 was probably her last Christmas on earth, and she had packed all the decorations away with special love for them, wanting them to treasure them, and always feel close to her.

She said she loves all of us dearly, and it will be such a little time until we are all together again – don't be sad. Then she said she couldn't wait to get back home. She meant her new home, and we both knew it. Just like that, she was gone and I was awake.

I don't know what you think about that. But it seems very real to me. I am so grateful. This vacation, I dreamed of Jeannie with the light brown hair, and it was God's great vacation gift to me.