An Officer and a Gentleman

The last week ended a season of life for me. My mother died. Want to meet a REALLY great woman? You can read about her at http://obit.smithfuneral.com/obitdisplay.html?id=547398&listing=Current I could go on and on about her. She's the most amazing pray-er I have ever known. If there's anything like Jesus you see in me, she's a major reason. The tribute I wrote to her life gives some details on that.

But today I'm thinking about Dad. The phrase, "an officer and a gentleman", describes a military standard to which leaders are to aspire. It was popularized by the movie of the same name, starring Richard Gere. My dad gave me a super example of what it really truly means to be a courageous soldier, a leader, and a gentleman through and through, under the most trying emotional moments of his life.

When my mother--his constant companion, best friend, spiritual comrade, and love of his life—left this life, they were married just 2 weeks short of 58 years. Their relationship had to be exactly what God had in mind when He planned the one-flesh scenario for marriage. Though on her behalf, he is celebrating her safe arrival in heaven, on his end of things, he is as broken-hearted as a man can be. He and Mom made it their rule of life to out-serve each other, and it didn't take her illness to show his colors. He served her with courtliness, sacrifice, humor, gentlemanliness, and the utmost respect all 58 years. Her cancer diagnosis only showcased his tender strength. Dad was with her in every difficult moment, praying, believing, encouraging, laughing--sleeping beside her bed every single night, insisting on taking every burden off her shoulders he possibly could. He didn't "baby" her, though; he saw her as a fully capable partner, one who really was God's premiere tool in making him who he is.

So sending her on before him to heaven was heartwrenching to him. But he was a soldier. Through her calling hours and her memorial service, Dad's focus was still outward--not on himself. He wanted people to know what a great God we serve, what an amazing woman Mother was, and to not focus on him. He prayed for God to help him keep his emotions in check so no one would let pity for him distract them from those main messages . 87 years old, and he stood at the casket the entire two days without breaks, thanking and greeting more than 1200 guests. Here's a moment for you--two friends of mine came through the line to share their sympathy. When Dad discovered that they were believers who were currently divorced from each other, but now were friends, he said, "Let me pray for you right now." He prayed intimately and urgently for God to "rekindle the love that once burned brightly" and to restore their marriage. He hugged them, and urged them to invite him to their wedding when God had done His work. Then he was back to greeting other guests.

When it was time for the fanily to tell Mom our last good-byes, he asked us all to precede him, because he wanted to be the last one to kiss the most beautiful person he had ever known. Oh, yeah---he's an officer and a gentleman. I salute you, Dad. You're my hero.