Necessary Endings

If life is a story we write (and I believe it is), I have started a new chapter. In January 2010 I had a heart attack--nothing that left me with major damage. In fact, it left me with major emotional and spiritual health. My heart issues coincided with the Haiti earthquake that rocked the world. Too long of a story for here, but God allowed my heart attack to prevent me from being with the Clear Blue Water project team that was in Haiti at the time, and for His purposes, in all likelihood, saved my life.

The recovery period was filled with coordinating efforts to get our team safely home, and the Lord's nudging to think about the rest of my life and what He wanted from it. That started a process that has continued.

God has been steadily narrowing down my options. :-) I used to consider few options a less than desirable position. But now I see it as necessary. I have been spending an hour at a time with Jesus in a new way--no prayer except, "What are you saying to me about your desires for the rest of my life?" I read the scripture that He directs and then just ask Him, "What are you saying to me?"

John 15 has figured prominently in His conversations with me. A few months ago He directly led me to NECESSARY ENDINGS by Dr. Henry Cloud. It was a profound voice to me. Among many things I have discovered in a new way is that Jesus is all about fruit. We tend to encourage ourselves by saying it is mostly faithfulness that matters, but the words of Jesus say that is not so. He is BIG on fruit. He says to cut out relationships where you are unable to have a positive influence, to prune activity from your life where you are expending energy for very little or no positive results. He says clearly to get rid of the dead wood in my life, and to excise branches that are sick and won't get better. This necessary ending gives room for new, healthy branches to grow, and keeps from draining the life out of us.

So, I've been having some necessary endings. Some bittersweet, but really positive, too. I just started a new chapter in my life story yesterday with an ending of something that once had been a great joy to me, but now was fruitless. Owning the fruitlessness of my efforts was difficult at first, because I am a fighter and have always lived by the axiom "quitters never win." But the truth that far outweighs any motto I might own is straight from Jesus: He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. John 15:2 My cutting off and pruning was actually a great relief, because I was clear that the Father was doing it.

And he gave me a great promise, too. Believe it or not, I have a clear sense that my very best days for the Kingdom of God and all God created me to be and do are ahead of me. He gave me this promise, Psalm 92:14 They will still bear fruit in old age, they will stay fresh and green. So, here we go! I feel like a kid again!