Who's Your Daddy?

FEAR always sabotages us. Have you noticed that? You can be an accomplished musician and play perfectly for hours alone or in a group with whom you have great comfort. But shift the setting. Put you in front of a large unknown crowd at the Apollo Theatee, sprinkle in a few hecklers, and your confidence is quickly replaced by fear. Your fingers just won’t work.

Or you are an energized and effective communicator. No one has ever “left you speechless.” You can make people laugh, cry, and jump out of their seats into action. You do it regularly without a hitch. But on this day you have to speak to a committee who hold your employment in their hands. You see the stern, unfriendly and evaluative faces. Your throat is dry, you can barely swallow, and the cotton in your mouth could make a shirt. You barely squeak out a few words.

Or, even worse, you know something wrong is about to happen. A group of which you are a part is about to make a very poor decision. You know that disagreeing may cost you some friendships, certainly the esteem of some of the people you value. So, you tell yourself that you can’t halt the action any way, there’s no point in saying anything. And you stay silent.

Or…well. You get the point. You can tell a dozen of your own true life stories. They all have the same bottom line. “The fear of man is a snare, but the one who trusts the Lord will be safe.” Proverbs 29:25 Fear traps me, and I can’t move forward when I am in its grip.

Childrens fears most often revolve around the loss of the presence, love, and support of a parent. They typically try to avoid anything that may cost them that valuable resource and foundation. It doesn’t change much as we get older. Fear rises, a lump grows in our throats, and knots multiply in our stomachs when we are called upon to make a decision that may cost us the love or the support of our mother or father…you don’t think so? You think you’ve grown past that? Well, as adults, who is your Daddy? Who is your Mother?

Your “Daddy” is the guy/place/source of your financial resources—the guy who “writes” your checks. When we are faced with the challenge of being courageous and speaking up for something unpopular, if it may cost our job, our relationship with our “resourcers”, or be a financial hardship on us, that’s our “Daddy”. The fear of loss of our Father’s support can paralyze us.

As an adult, your “Mother” is the source of your comfort and encouragement. Who believes in you? Whose love and affirmation is your rock? When faced with the potential loss of that approval and affirmation, we may slide under the table, and fold in fear.

The heroes we most revere did not. The Apostle Paul said, “I have learned to be content (not fear) in any situation, because I know I can do anything as Christ gives me strength.” (Philippians 4:12-14). When all of his troops were against him, David obeyed God any way, and the Word tells us he “encouraged HIMSELF in the Lord. I Samuel 30:6

We have this profoundly strengthening promise: “Though my mother and father forsake me, the Lord himself will lift me up.” Psalm 27:10 We can afford to be courageous and obedient, even when our resources, comfort, and affirmation is threatened. God will be our supply. As someone said, “When I get to the place where Jesus is all I have, I will find he is all I need.”

A leader and criticism

You don't have to be in charge of a group of people very long until you realize that there are many opinions and much criticism for leaders, and much of it is leveled without even knowing the truth about a situation. A godly leader is charged with the responsibility of knowing when to "blow someone's cover" when they have shared an untruth or made inaccurate criticisms, and when to be quiet and let God handle it. I found these thoughts from a man under fire to be very thought-provoking and honest.

“I have two principles that guide my decisions as a father, a husband and a pastor. … Principle One: Do the right thing, for the right reason, even at my own hurt. Principle Two: Say what you mean and mean what you say. These two principles were put to the test this past week as I navigated the media frenzy surrounding the new allegations involving our church. I have told several close friends this week that it is really hurtful to be criticized so strongly for simply doing the right thing. I actually believe it is easier to accept criticism after doing something wrong. If that were the case, I would stand before my family, my church and the media and simply accept the responsibility and the consequences. But when no wrong act has been committed, it hurts to be misunderstood or questioned. … When my integrity is questioned, I try not to be defensive but I also want truth. In the end, I know God sees my heart and ultimately He is my judge. I trust my reputation into His hands and believe that He will ultimately defend me. … These two principles are big leadership ideas that I hope are adopted by everyone in a position of influence or authority. It is a sacred responsibility to lead people and I consider it an honor to be called pastor. —New Life Church senior pastor Brady Boyd, blogging after a week in which he and his church’s leadership were criticized for concealing certain details involved in the Ted Haggard scandal [newlifeblogs.com, 1/30/09]