I Do, I DO!!

This is the wedding season. Dear young friends were married April 10 in a beautiful ceremony, another couple will wed this next weekend, my own son Jacob and his beautiful bride-to-be Jessica will take the plunge May 22, and then more this summer. As I prepare for all these promises, I have thought how in a world where commitments are increasingly short-term, the words "for better or worse, as long as we both shall live" sound beautiful, but realistically unlikely to most people. We push those thoughts to the back of our minds in the midst of the celebration. But as we look at broken promises on all levels, not just marriage, we wonder, "Does anyone keep promises anymore?"

Yes, some people still make and keep promises. They choose not to quit when the going gets rough because they promised to see it through. They stick to causes that seem lost. They hold on to a love that seems sadly cold. They stay with people who have become royal pains in the neck. They are brave enough to make a promise, and have enough integrity to keep the promise they have made. Lewis Smede challenges me when he says, "If you have a ship you will not desert, if you have people you will not forsake, if you have causes you cannot abandon, then you are like God."

See, when a person makes a promise, that person reaches out into the unpredictable and unertain future and makes one thing certain: I WILL BE THERE.  I will be there even when it costs me more than I want to pay. In a world where most things seem out of my control, when I make a promise like this, I control at least one thing: I will be there no matter what the circumstances turn out to be. Smedes says, "When you make a promise, you take a hand in creating your own future."

This spring and summer is a great time to reflect on the promises we have made to God, to people, to the church--and to focus our energy on keeping them. There is nothing more fulfilling than working with God to keep your commitments, and receiving the reward that comes from being a keeper of covenants, a person like God.

I promise. Better than that, it is HIS promise.

The Limits of Love

I was part of  a state leadership meeting with my brother Dwight a week or so ago. He shook his head about a situation that concerned the group and said, "I always remember what Brenda told me when I was getting my heartbroken as a young guy involved with the wrong girl. She said, 'Dwight--your problem is you think that if you love people enough, you can change them'."

He's right. I said that. But I forgot it. I have forgotten it many times in practical life. Love has its limits. Even God can't change us, no matter how much he loves us, if we choose to remain unteachable, stuck in our ruts.
I have loved people deeply, tried to help them avoid disaster, and make their lives better. But, one person can never make that choice for another. Jesus showed that. When he talked to the rich young ruler, he left the ball in the young man's court. He could follow Jesus to life and blessing, or he could stick with life the way he had always known it. The Bible says Jesus looked at him and LOVED him, and He directly presented the options. But the young man chose to walk away. He chose to reject love--to retain his pride, and hold onto the life that had already disappointed him.

And Jesus let him go. Tough. Didn't feel like love, I am sure. More like watching the makings of a train wreck in slow motion. But Jesus loved him enough to let him retain his right to make foolish, unwise choices.
Love is limited. It doesn't conquer all. Sometimes love lets people walk.

BECOMING A GREAT LEADER

My son JL pointed out in his blog(THE LINCOLN LETTERS)that the BIBLE is a great handbook on leadership, as well as the subjects for which we commonly count on it. He picked a few of the areas where the Book gives great leadership principles. One of my favorites was the word on wise networking.

You may not think so, but the people you surround yourself with say all there is to know about yourself. The Bible says in the book of Proverbs, “A mirror reflects a man's face, but what he is really like is shown by the kind of friends he chooses." To be a successful leader, you have to surround yourself with like minded, solid people. Jesus was a perfect example of this. He had tons of people who wanted to be close to him, but he made sure that only a select few had access to influence him. Of the thousands that followed him, he had only 12 disciples, and from the he had 3 who were in his inner circle – James, Peter, and John. Jesus made sure he was surrounded by people who would be a benefit to him, not a drag on him.

I am so grateful for the wonderful people who influence my life. Any good I have done or impact I have made is due to the wise people who have surrounded my life. I have made it a life principle to have a "wisdom council" that remains steady throughout my life---it's a small group of people with great wisdom in life and ministry, have experienced the kind of success I want to experience, and know me VERY well...well enough to know when I am skating, skimming, or shying away from something I need to face. They are people with enough courage to tell me the truth, even when they know I won't like it. They are people who love ME and my future with Jesus MORE than they love our friendship, so they are willing to risk our relationship in order to tell me the helpful truth I need to know. I owe them everything.

Watch who you hang with. Your associations can help you or hang you. :-)

Real love :-)

This is our Shiba Inu dog Spike. He has gone through serious grief since my mother-in-law Audra left us for heaven last fall. She was his guardian angel, always sneaking him treats, responding to his little paws on her leg, and making sure no one took advantage of him. He spent weeks laying by her door after her stroke took her to the nursing home. He is so persistent and adorable that I have gradually accepted that it is my lot to take her place. :-) He is my special little friend. He can't talk, but there's never a doubt how he loves me. I don't even have to give him a treat; he just wants to be where I am. On a day like today when I am working from home, he finds me wherever I am and just lays at my feet. Presence is what he wants. And you know what? I have discovered I really like it, too.

I think that's what real love is about--you get contentment and what you need in large measure just by being with the other one. I want to love Jesus that much--I think he would be so pleased if he could sense I just want to be with him, instead of looking for something from him. That would be a treat for both of us. Just relaxing in the Presence.

country wisdom

We're on vacation!! On the long ride down here, we were alone in the car. That was a new experience! Charlie and I recalled many other similar trips, but most of those had 3 other characters in the mix! We have many great memories of vacation trips with kids creating all sorts of comedy, tragedy--general drama. :-) We remembered the southern style restaurant that was our traditional half-way treat--"Po' Folks". It featured checker boards on barrels on the expansive country porch, a player-piano swinging with country music just inside the door, and waitresses with fascinating southern drawls. One of my favorite trademarks was the placemat with pungent and pointed homefolk wisdom. There I got one of the best pieces of relational advice you'll ever hear. "Never rassle with pigs--you'll both get dirty, and they'll like it." :-) Hard to follow sometimes, but always wise.