Who's Your Daddy?

FEAR always sabotages us. Have you noticed that? You can be an accomplished musician and play perfectly for hours alone or in a group with whom you have great comfort. But shift the setting. Put you in front of a large unknown crowd at the Apollo Theatee, sprinkle in a few hecklers, and your confidence is quickly replaced by fear. Your fingers just won’t work.

Or you are an energized and effective communicator. No one has ever “left you speechless.” You can make people laugh, cry, and jump out of their seats into action. You do it regularly without a hitch. But on this day you have to speak to a committee who hold your employment in their hands. You see the stern, unfriendly and evaluative faces. Your throat is dry, you can barely swallow, and the cotton in your mouth could make a shirt. You barely squeak out a few words.

Or, even worse, you know something wrong is about to happen. A group of which you are a part is about to make a very poor decision. You know that disagreeing may cost you some friendships, certainly the esteem of some of the people you value. So, you tell yourself that you can’t halt the action any way, there’s no point in saying anything. And you stay silent.

Or…well. You get the point. You can tell a dozen of your own true life stories. They all have the same bottom line. “The fear of man is a snare, but the one who trusts the Lord will be safe.” Proverbs 29:25 Fear traps me, and I can’t move forward when I am in its grip.

Childrens fears most often revolve around the loss of the presence, love, and support of a parent. They typically try to avoid anything that may cost them that valuable resource and foundation. It doesn’t change much as we get older. Fear rises, a lump grows in our throats, and knots multiply in our stomachs when we are called upon to make a decision that may cost us the love or the support of our mother or father…you don’t think so? You think you’ve grown past that? Well, as adults, who is your Daddy? Who is your Mother?

Your “Daddy” is the guy/place/source of your financial resources—the guy who “writes” your checks. When we are faced with the challenge of being courageous and speaking up for something unpopular, if it may cost our job, our relationship with our “resourcers”, or be a financial hardship on us, that’s our “Daddy”. The fear of loss of our Father’s support can paralyze us.

As an adult, your “Mother” is the source of your comfort and encouragement. Who believes in you? Whose love and affirmation is your rock? When faced with the potential loss of that approval and affirmation, we may slide under the table, and fold in fear.

The heroes we most revere did not. The Apostle Paul said, “I have learned to be content (not fear) in any situation, because I know I can do anything as Christ gives me strength.” (Philippians 4:12-14). When all of his troops were against him, David obeyed God any way, and the Word tells us he “encouraged HIMSELF in the Lord. I Samuel 30:6

We have this profoundly strengthening promise: “Though my mother and father forsake me, the Lord himself will lift me up.” Psalm 27:10 We can afford to be courageous and obedient, even when our resources, comfort, and affirmation is threatened. God will be our supply. As someone said, “When I get to the place where Jesus is all I have, I will find he is all I need.”

It's Another Day

I have the privilege of enjoying my 2 1/2 year old granddaughter two mornings a week. Last week we wanted to go out to swim and swing, but it was raining very hard. Skylar began the time-honored method for dispelling showers, sing-songing, "Rain, rain go away. Come again another day!" Imagine her delight when literally in about 5 minutes, the rain completely stopped and the sun appeared. "Mamaw!", she exclaimed. "The rain listened! It went away!"

Friday we were together again. Early in the morning, we had a steady downpour that settled in for a long haul. She stood at the storm door, nose and palms pressed against the windows. She began singing again her rain song, and determinedly sang it a few times through. Eventually, Skylar turned around, dejected, and said, “It’s still raining.”

I replied, “Yeah—well, I think it’s ‘another day.’” She crinkled her nose and her eyebrows crowded together like two little blond caterpillars facing off.

“What?!?!?”, she said.

So, I tried to tell her that it HAS to rain some time. We had really enjoyed it last week when the rain seemed to cooperate with our plans and went away without much of a grumble. But now it was back. It shouldn’t have been a surprise guest. She told him to come again another day.

Skylar said, “Yes—but not THIS day.”

She’s a lot like her Mamaw. Technically I know that the phrase “into each life some rain must fall” is actually a truism. But when clouds threaten and rain starts to come down, like Skylar, I always try to command the rain to go away. I even often beg and bargain with God to make the torrents go away, even if it means returning another day. Many times the clouds do become fluffy white and the downpour abates.

But I am not an exception to the rule. Into each life some rain WILL fall. Clouds don’t always go away. Sometimes the downpour happens, accompanied by thunder and lightning. Another day always comes.

But it doesn't mean God doesn't love me. It doesn't mean I've done something wrong. It doesn't mean His hand is off my life. It just means it is another day.

And I have learned the lesson all little girls who love Jesus eventually figure out--if there's no rain, there can't be any flowers. It takes some "another days" to grow true beauty.

If you're in "another day", it's ok to be disappointed. It's ok to cry. It's all right to sing your songs and tell your Father you surely are anxious for the skies to clear. But try to remember--when the skies clear, and the sun shines through again, the blossoms you enjoy couldn't have come without the rain.

Here's another song to give a try when it's raining.

Wishin' Don't Make it So...

Have you ever looked at someone and wished you were where they were in life? Had what they had, went where they went, did what they did?

Well, the fact is, they didn't do what you'd like to do by wishing for it. They worked, made decisions that took them the direction they actually wanted to go, said yes to many things they preferred not to, and said no to many things they would have jumped at otherwise, if they didn't have a goal.

It's always that way. That "when you wish upon a star" song is rooted in Cinderella, not reality. Glass slippers and mice that become coachmen are splendid inventions for a magical story. So are "ships that come in" and rich uncles. But the truth is, life can be very rewarding, almost too good to be true, when we quit wishing, and start working a plan with focus.

Dreams never come true until the dreamer gets out of bed--early!--and starts mixing some elbow grease in with the stardust.

What are you dreaming about today? Dream with God, and then get to it! "God can do anything, you know—far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us." Ephesians 3:20

THE DECISION

Well, "The Decision" has been made, and most of the world, it seems, has weighed in on it. Funny how hung-up we’ve been waiting for one guy to decide where he’s going to play ball. You would think this was one of the most significant decisions of all time. The thing is, hundreds of thousands of people yesterday, many whom you and I know, made decisions yesterday that determined their whole life direction and eternal destinies. No one was watching, praying for them, or maybe even caring.


Here’s the real deal, though. The decisions you and I make about our daily lives are far more significant in the long run that anything LeBron could ever do. Truth is, we only make 4-5 major decisions in our lives, and then we spend the rest of our lives managing those decisions. That’s what LeBron has in front of him - a far more challenging and far-reaching deal than I imagine the 25 year old has even considered. He will be managing the ramifications of his decision the rest of his life, for good or evil. You and I will be doing that, too, with the decisions we make today. Let’s not get caught up in what LeBron is deciding while we make our decisions casually. The future matters now.

It's a Wedding! and a Marriage!

So this weekend is the one our last child, our "baby Jacob", gets married. He has selected a wonderful girl. JL and Jess have already brought us much joy. The wedding will be SO much fun--the weddings of Zachary and Amanda 5 years ago and Rachel and Aron 18 months ago will forever highlight my memories. As good friends, great people, wonderful family gather for the big send-off into married life, we will truly and deeply rejoice.

We had our own little private send-off last week. As the wedding of each child approached, the 5 original Youngs (Charlie, me, the 3 kids) got together for a last lunch at Skyline Chili, one of our favorites haunts when they were little. This time was not much different than the other two--loads of laughter, favorite stories retold. Only this time there was a twist. Zack and Rachel gave their little brother advice on marriage, the REAL DEAL that follows the big hype of the wedding day. That was very interesting for a mother to hear. :-) We all know that the marriage, the living out of the vows on ordinary days, is the really significant thing. It is life's biggest decision and most significant challenge, after the decision to follow Jesus.

As I listened and watched, I realized again that our house is going to be empty now of all the kids calling it home. There won't be anymore tribes of young people hanging out and making amazing noise. We've had the last sleepover. I'll be able to decorate every single room of the house the way I want. And there will be plenty of room in the garage and closets. Those thoughts didn't make me celebrate. I have absolutely LOVED having children and I have loved everything (well, almost everything) that comes with them. The knowledge that this era of my life ends on Saturday morning when JL wakes up for the last time in "his very own bed in his very own room" is bittersweet.

It makes me very happy that 36 years ago on June 15 I married a man to love forever. The kids are gone, but he is still with me, still faithful, still kind, still loving, still my best friend, still "the one." Fortunately over these years, the MARRIAGE has been the big deal, Our wedding was so much fun and a day I still enjoy reliving, but nothing compared to the joy we have right now. The house will be much less crowded with people now, but still overflowing with love.

Charlie and I are children of the 70's. The music of the Beatles blared out from the 8 track tapes and radio in his 1970 Camaro over many miles. Though we loved the music, we never picked up the lifestyle of the day, and came to our wedding with each other being "the one and only." But John Lennon captured the way I felt about Charlie then, and still do today. Jacob and Jessica--may it ever be true for you. Zachary and Amanda, Rachel and Aron--may the years make this your song.


There are places I'll remember
All my life, though some have changed
Some forever, not for better
Some have gone and some remain
All these places had their moments
With lovers and friends, I still can recall
Some are dead and some are living
In my life, I've loved them all
But of all these friends and lovers
There is no one compares with you
And these memories lose their meaning
When I think of love as something new
Though I know I'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I'll often stop and think about them
In my life, I'll love you more


Though I know I'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I'll often stop and think about them
In my life, I'll love you more