Wednesday, September 10, 2014

The Light that Shines in Darkness

A year ago today we were in the midst of a beautiful September day, just like today. White, cottonball clouds gliding lazily across storybook blue skies, salty sea air filling my lungs. When my phone rang and I saw my young friend Cory's name, I was happy--probably baby news or something not quite as exciting, but great. When through sobs he said, "Brenda, Aaron's gone!", I was so stunned, I couldn't comprehend it, and he had to repeat the devastating words.

I began to grasp the overwhelming fact. Aaron Wilson, young like my sons, my dear friend, laughing DJ at our latest family wedding, loved and invested in so many, had truly left us. Gone in a moment of time. I knew it was true, and I knew his Father had come to get him. While Cory spoke the words to my ears, before he was done speaking, the Holy Spirit was connecting with MY spirit, and I saw Aaron at the wheel of his car, head thrown back, looking to heaven, calling out to Jesus. Knowing Aaron was alive in another dimension with his Savior was the deepest and only true comfort. But there was his family. What could and would Jesus do for his family, who loved him beyond expression--the hole in their world so cavernous and gaping they would not be able to comprehend life with the emptiness?

This post by Aaron's beautiful sister Stacy tells so profoundly what Jesus did and is doing for them. I had to share. You need the Light, too. If I or any of the Wilson family can help you, please contact me.

From Stacy:
After losing Aaron, it seemed like everything in my life turned dark. It is similar to coming home to your house at night. You may shuffle around with your hands out trying to find the light switch while protecting yourself from running into anything. Once you turn the light on, everything is visible again. Those who take on the darkness, (without turning on the switch) usually end up running into a wall and stubbing their toe.

When things turn dark, it blinds you from every other aspect in your life. You don’t know what is ahead or behind you. It can be scary and depressing. The things that gave you joy or happiness before seems to vanish. In actuality… they are still there, they are just no longer seen due to the darkness that overtakes you. How can you experience joy if your light is out? I have tried it…It is impossible.

Throughout the Bible, it talks about Jesus being the light. “The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.” (John 1:5) I can personally say, that God has brought LIGHT into this time of darkness. BUT I had to truly switch that light on DAILY in my life. Various life situations can turn that switch off and it is up to you to make the choice of how long you want to stay there. It is also interesting to know that darkness doesn’t exist, it merely is the absence of light. Meaning when we do feel dark, we just need light. That light is Jesus. It is the most readily available form of light. He is like the legit version of a CLAP ON light!!! It saddens me to know that God is so readily available for you, yet most people choose to ignore him. They stay in darkness for their entire life. IT DOES NOT HAVE TO BE THAT WAY and that is NOT God’s purpose for your life.
I will say, the majority of this past year things have been dark. The days that I couldn’t pray, God heard my heart. At times, when I was too weak to make that CHOICE to turn the light on, he did it for me. 


Situations like losing Aaron can bring emptiness so great that you MUST find ways to give thanks to God. That is a huge part of the grieving process. If you DO NOT give thanks multiple times in one day, you will find yourself in a dark hole FAST (or a dark house with no lights on) This can be the most challenging aspect of the grieving process. Your mind and heart is focused on the negative. You must realize that the situation CANNOT be changed, it can only be redirected. I cannot bring Aaron back. I cannot change that situation. I can only change my attitude about it. 


Aaron had such a thankful heart. It wasn’t just “I am thankful for family. My job. My friends.” IT WAS MORE THAN THAT. I remember riding in his car one day and we were talking about our family. In his most energetic form, he kept saying “Seriously we have the best family. I mean come on…we are all funny, we make the best food, we have the best time together.... whoever I marry is going to be lucky that they marry into a family like ours” He went on and on and on… BUT Aaron honestly had the same thankful energy with his house, car, job, friends, and FiancĂ©, Alex. (He might have been this way with his good looks and 3-point basketball shot)

We need to all start giving thanks more often and have ENERGY doing it! (Ephesians 5:20) GOOD TIMES AND BAD TIMES… GIVE THANKS! Just wait, on Thanksgiving Day, we will see everyone’s comments and status’ about what they are thankful for. That is fine and dandy but do it EVERYDAY. If you feel you have nothing to be thankful for, look around you. WE LIVE IN AMERICA!!!!! I have the freedom to speak my mind without being beaten or killed. Our future son will have a greater advantage in all aspects because he is an American. Our freedom is so easily taken for granted. Do you have clothes to wear? GIVE THANKS… millions don’t. Do you have fresh drinking water? GIVE THANKS… many throughout India, Haiti, Africa DO NOT know what that is like. (By the way, Aaron’s death has influenced many to donate to ClearBlue Global Water Project and there is now FOUR wells in his name serving VILLAGES of people with FRESH DRINKING WATER!!! AMEN)

God literally brought me to a point that I had to look around and give thanks for the things I easily took for granted before (such as my freedom, clean drinking water, family, and friends) I learned that if I didn't give thanks I would not progress any further as an individual.

BECAUSE OF THAT, I just want to take the time to give thanks for the PEOPLE/FAMILY/FRIENDS God has placed in our lives. I am so grateful for AMAZING husband, Ben. He has literally been there for me every waking second. He brings such a positive perspective to every situation. He held me through every sleepless night and patiently walked me through every frustrating moment.

For my family and close friends---words cannot describe the amount of love you have poured over my life. I am talking about ALL OF YOU who come over unexpectedly. The people that DON’T ASK but DO. The prayers so strong that I FEEL THEM. The friends that literally sat in my living room listening to me in my darkest and saddest moments. The ones who have encouraged me DAILY! Yes, most don’t understand. BUT you have SEEN my pain. The ones who have done the exact same thing to my parents and my brother. You have walked this path with all of us. FOR THAT, I am extremely grateful.

Most people grieve alone. They have no support system. I would be SO lost without the people that have surrounded us with love. This was the BIG light that God turned on for me. Without people like you, I would still be sitting in a dark house feeling hopeless. SO THANK YOU!

WE ALL have the ability to be this person to someone else. Our world can be a terrible place. SO MANY PEOPLE ARE HURTING!!!!! It is the PEOPLE LIKE YOU who make it better. Who go out of their way WITHOUT asking and WITHOUT expecting something in return. It is the love that has been shown to me that MOTIVATES me to become a better friend, wife, daughter, and now mother.

Try to make it a point to give thanks. Post it notes work great. PUT THEM ON YOUR MIRROR. Every small and BIG thing that you are grateful for. Take a look at them before you leave for work every day. Remind yourself that EVERY good and perfect things come from above. (James 1:17)

If you are in a dark place, I encourage you to ask God to turn the lights on. Allow him to reveal all of the things he has given you. If you choose Christ, he will NEVER leave you no matter how DARK things may seem.
(Deuteronomy 31:6) I promise he will GIVE YOU hope. He will place people and situations that will bring you through anything that is thrown at you. You can’t change your situation… make that choice to give it to God and allow him to change your perspective.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Such an amazing and God-loving family. So blessed to have Stacy as a close friends in my life. We miss you so much Aaron!