Despair and Freedom

This week my niece Jennifer posted this blog after we lost a precious young friend to apparent suicide. The truth she shares in telling her own story is so good, i wanted to share it with you.

So I got some really tough news tonight. A good friend of mine lost her 13 yr old. son tonight to suicide. For me it is always really to lose anyone that is young but especially to Satan and his demons. It hits hard to my heart due to my own circumstances. I was raised in a Christian home, I was at church all the time, and I went to a Christian School. So here's my story: In my Sophomore year of high school I went into a deep, deep depression and I stayed at that state for the next 4 years. I have almost no memories of that time because my main goal was to one not let anyone see past the mask that I put on because I knew that if any one saw the "real" me they would know what was going on and two was pray that God would take me to Heaven to rescue me from my pain. If you knew me you would have no idea of the pain that I was in. I can remember every road and intersection that I would pray that God would have someone have a heart attack and would hit my car and kill me because I knew that I wasn't sinning if I was killed by someone else. I know that every time I wanted to die that it was really Satan who was trying to take me down. I amazingly was able to fool so many people for quite a while until I started to mess up in life. In October of 2000 I had been in counseling for a couple of months and was told that I needed to go through Freedom in Christ (which is the most amazing thing ever).So the night of my FIC appointment I had already known that I was in a depression but it had not hit me fully until this night. I remember as I was going through I was physically feeling lighter, so that night I spent the night where I had my appointment since it was late and I had to be at church the next day. The next day at church my mom kept asking me how I had slept the previous night and truthfully it was the best night sleep I have ever had. Well, after getting asked over and over, I finally told my mom that she had to tell me what was going on. So here is the most amazing part of my whole story. After I had gone to sleep the people that were in the house were wakened up by hearing my name being screamed. So they woke up and came running to where I was thinking that something was happening to me. The closer they got to me the louder the voice was and the voice was yelling "JENNIFER" over and over and over. I never woke up that is the most amazing part was that as soon as my mom told me that I knew that God was telling me that HE was in the hole that Satan had used to come in and where a demon had attached itself to me. How awesome is that God made sure that I knew that HE had filled all the cracks and was saying to me "You are my child and I'm not giving you back."Unfortunately too many people don't get the message that God can fill the cracks in your life before it's too late. I heard someone say once that it is Satan's job to watch us and learn about us completely. He does his job well but God does his better. I am no where close to being the person that God wants me to be but I'm on my way and I have learned that there are things that I have to be careful of because that is an area that Satan can take really easy for me. But God is bigger, better, and greater.

My point in sharing this is that God has a great plan for your life--Satan has one, too. You can defeat Satan and get on track with God, and Freedom in Christ is a great tool to help you. If you want information about it, just let me know.